{"id":744,"date":"2026-06-27T21:58:22","date_gmt":"2026-06-28T00:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/?p=744"},"modified":"2026-07-06T14:47:19","modified_gmt":"2026-07-06T17:17:19","slug":"when-it-feels-scary-its-because-sadness-isnt-your-enemy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/en\/quando-sentir-parece-assustador-por-que-a-tristeza-nao-e-sua-inimiga\/","title":{"rendered":"When feeling our emotions seems frightening..."},"content":{"rendered":"<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Have you ever been afraid to feel your own sadness?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Afraid to stop for a few minutes, allow the tears to come, and discover that perhaps you can no longer get up?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recently, during a session, a person shared a feeling with me that I hear often:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI'm afraid to look at this pain. I'm afraid to start crying and fall into a bottomless pit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps you've experienced this feeling too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because I've certainly experienced it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And if you're a mother, especially if you live far from your home country, you probably understand perfectly what I'm talking about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The grief we often don't recognize<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we hear the word \u201cgrief,\u201d we usually think of the loss of a loved one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But there are many types of grief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is grief for the life left behind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Besides the one for the family that's far away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And also for the friends you don't see as often anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or for the career that had to be interrupted or reinvented.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Even more so because of the support network that existed before immigration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps because of the version of yourself that existed before motherhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For many expat mothers, these griefs happen simultaneously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And the most challenging thing is that, often, they go unnoticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why do you keep taking care of the children?.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Besides continuing to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And solving problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You are still working.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On the outside, everything seems to be going normally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But inside, there is a pain that has never found space to be felt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The fear of feeling<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We live in a culture that values productivity, performance, and resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Furthermore, we learned early on that we need to be strong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We must move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Crying is a sign of weakness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And that feeling too much can get in our way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So we do what seems safest: we push emotions down and keep functioning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The problem is that emotions don't disappear because we ignore them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They remain present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I often feel muscle tension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Other times, like anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes I eat irritability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or even as constant exhaustion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I always have that hard-to-explain feeling that something within us is asking for attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is sadness trying to tell us?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the view of Traditional Chinese Medicine, emotions are a part of the human experience and have important functions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, they are not problems to be eliminated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They are messages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Movements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Natural expressions of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sadness, in particular, invites us to a movement of withdrawal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because it invites us to slow down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Looking within.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Therefore, reflect deeply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To evaluate what still makes sense in our lives and what perhaps needs to be left behind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So instead of seeing her as an enemy, we can start seeing her as a teacher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A feeling that helps us understand what was lost, what has changed, and what needs to be integrated so we can move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/IMG_5764-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"Manuel&#039;s River\" class=\"wp-image-746\" srcset=\"https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/IMG_5764-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/IMG_5764-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/IMG_5764-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/IMG_5764-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/IMG_5764-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/manuelalourenco.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/IMG_5764-16x12.jpg 16w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Tears have a function<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Many people report feeling relief after an episode of crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This doesn't happen by chance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because tears can represent a form of emotional release.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As if it were an emptying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Therefore, a natural process of internal reorganization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In nature, closing cycles are as important as growth cycles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Since before a new season arrives, something needs to end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Leaves fall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fruits ripen and detach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The earth rests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It's no different with humans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are times when we need to allow something to be released so that the new can emerge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">No emotion lasts forever<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the biggest illusions created by fear is the idea that if we allow ourselves to feel a difficult emotion, we will be stuck in it forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But emotions don't work like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They are temporary by nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because they are coming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They cross us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And they leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Like the waves of the sea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">However, suffering often increases when we try to block this natural movement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The more we resist, the more energy we spend sustaining what wishes to move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This doesn't mean we should drown in sadness or dwell on painful thoughts continuously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But it just means we can create space to acknowledge what we're feeling with kindness and presence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">An invitation for mothers who live far from home<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you are an expatriate or immigrant mother, you may be carrying emotions you've never had the opportunity to process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You might be so busy taking care of everyone around you that you've forgotten to look after yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps there's a sadness you've been putting off feeling for months or even years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But if this is your case, know that you are not alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Feeling saudade is not a weakness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And feeling sadness doesn't mean you made wrong decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Needing to cry doesn't mean you're broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It just means you're human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And that your body and mind are trying to process important experiences from your journey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to seek help<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While sadness is a natural and necessary emotion, there are times when professional support is crucial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you notice that your emotional pain is significantly affecting your quality of life, your relationships, your sleep, your ability to work, or your self-care, consider seeking professional help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You don't have to go through this alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because there are professionals prepared to offer support, reception, and adequate tools for each moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Conclusion<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps sadness isn't the bottomless pit you imagine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe it's just a door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A door into itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">An opportunity to understand what needs to be honored, processed, and released.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Emotions did not come to destroy us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They came to help us navigate the human experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because when we learn to listen to them, instead of fighting them, we discover there is wisdom even in tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-ast-global-color-2-color\"><strong>**Important:**<\/strong><\/mark><\/em> This content is for educational purposes only and does not replace psychological, psychotherapeutic, or medical consultation. If you are experiencing intense or persistent emotional distress, please seek help from a qualified mental health professional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Voc\u00ea j\u00e1 teve medo de sentir a sua pr\u00f3pria tristeza? Medo de parar por alguns minutos, permitir que as l\u00e1grimas [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":746,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-744","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Voc\u00ea tem medo de sentir sua tristeza? 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