Have you ever had the feeling of being surrounded by people, but still feeling deeply alone?
This is a very common experience for mothers who live outside of their home country.
During the day, we are surrounded by our children, our partner, our work colleagues, or other people in our daily routine. But even so, something essential might be missing: someone with whom we can truly be ourselves.
Someone who actually knows our history.
Someone with whom we can share joys, as well as doubts, fears, and longing, without needing to explain everything from the beginning.
This feeling doesn't necessarily mean a lack of company. Often, it reveals the absence of something even more important: the feeling of belonging.
What is social health?
When we talk about health, most people immediately think of diet, physical activity, or sleep.
These factors are indeed fundamental, but there is another equally important aspect that still receives little attention: the social health.
In Lifestyle Medicine, internationally recognized as an evidence-based approach for the prevention and treatment of chronic diseases, social health is considered one of the pillars of well-being.
This is because humans were made to live in connection.
Because the way we relate to each other directly influences our mental, emotional, and even physical health.
But there's a very common misconception.
Many people believe that having social health means having a packed calendar of events, dozens of friends, or an extremely active social life.
However, in reality, that's not what science shows.
Belonging is more important than knowing many people.
Because when we talk about social health, quantity doesn't always mean quality.
But what truly protects our health is the feeling of belonging.
Since belonging means feeling like we are part of a group, a community, or a relationship where we are accepted as we are.
It's knowing that there's someone who knows our story.
What celebrates our achievements.
Who offers support when we need it.
And which makes us feel seen, understood, and welcomed.
Because this feeling is especially important for those going through an immigration process.
When moving to another country, many of the connections built throughout life are left behind.
Family, childhood friends, coworkers, neighbors, and an entire support network disappear from your routine practically overnight.
Furthermore, rebuilding that sense of belonging takes time.
And that's part of the process.
What does science teach us about social connection?
For a long time, it was believed that the larger the social network, the better it would be for health.
However, today we know that the quality of relationships is much more important than the quantity.
Studies suggest that maintaining approximately three to five close relationships, based on trust, support, and reciprocity, is already associated with significant benefits for physical and emotional well-being.
This brings a very comforting message to those who live far from their country.
You don't need to know everyone.
You don't need to be present at every event.
And you don't need to build a big social network right away.
Sometimes cultivating a few deep relationships can offer much more protection than dozens of superficial connections.
Why is this so important for mothers living abroad?
Motherhood, in itself, profoundly transforms our social life.
Since, after the children, time shrinks.
Priorities change.
Energy too.
When this motherhood happens in another country, additional challenges arise.
Many mothers don't have grandparents nearby.
They don't count on family to help.
They need to build friendships from scratch in another language, another culture, and often while taking care of young children.
It's not difficult to understand why so many immigrant mothers report feelings of loneliness, isolation, and homesickness.
But there's an important difference between being alone and feeling like you don't belong.
It is precisely belonging that helps reduce this feeling of isolation.
How to start building belonging?
There isn't a ready-made formula.
Because belonging is born gradually.
It is built through coexistence, vulnerability, and shared experiences.
Maybe the first step is to accept an invitation for coffee.
Join a mothers' group.
Send a message to someone you'd like to keep in touch with.
Or simply allow someone else to take care of you for a few moments.
Every little connection is a seed.
And, with time, these seeds can transform into a true support network.
You don't have to go through this journey alone
If there's one thing I've learned from following Brazilian mothers living abroad, it's that almost all of them share the same need.
It's not just about making friends.
It's finding a place where they can be understood without needing to explain every detail of their own story.
A place where they can feel like they belong.
It was precisely because I believed in the power of these connections that my community was born.
More than a space to talk about health, it was created so that Brazilian mothers living abroad can find support, evidence-based information, and, most importantly, true connections.
Because taking care of your health goes far beyond diet or exercise.
It also goes through the bonds we build.
And no one should face the challenges of motherhood and immigration without feeling like they belong somewhere.