Have you ever had the feeling that you're just trying to survive the days?
Wakes up tired. Solves one task after another. Takes care of the children, the house, the work, the responsibilities of adult life. And when she finally stops for a few minutes, she feels like she should be doing something else.
Many women believe this is part of motherhood.
But the truth is that there's a biological explanation for this constant state of alert.
Because when we become mothers, an ancestral mechanism is activated within us: survival mode.
However, the problem is that for many women, this mode didn't start when their children were born.
It had already been on for a long time.
The brain was programmed to protect us
One of the most important functions of the human brain is to ensure our survival.
So, when we perceive a threat, real or imagined, our body activates a series of physiological responses that help us face challenges.
Also, heart rate increases.
Stress hormones are released.
Attention is directed to potential dangers.
Digestion, rest, and recovery cease to be a priority.
Since this mechanism was fundamental to the evolution of the human species.
Without him, we probably wouldn't be here.
But the problem is that the body was designed to enter and exit this state.
And not to remain in it continually.
Many women arrive at the maternity ward already exhausted.
Even before becoming mothers, many women already live under constant pressure.
Because these are years of balancing studies, career, relationships, family expectations, and social pressures.
The modern woman has learned to produce non-stop.
Also, being available to everyone.
To ignore the signals of one's own body.
Keep going even when you're exhausted.
She frequently enters maternity care already carrying high levels of stress, sleep deprivation, inadequate nutrition, and little time for self-care.
Then a child is born.
And the survival mode intensifies.
After all, there is now a life dependent on it.
Biologically, that makes sense.
But when this state lasts for years, the body starts to pay the price.
The challenge is even greater for expat mothers.
Over the years of assisting women living outside their home country, I've noticed a pattern that repeats frequently.
Expat mothers carry additional layers of overload that often go unnoticed.
When we live far from our family, we lose one of the most important structures for human health: community.
There are no grandparents available to help in an emergency.
Not even that childhood friend who shows up with a ready-made meal.
Much less the support network built over decades.
Additionally, there are other factors that keep the organism on alert:
Adapting to a new culture
Communication in another language
Emotional distance from family
Feeling of loneliness
Need to rebuild social ties
Financial and professional challenges
Immigration uncertainties
The responsibility of raising children between two cultures
Because even when a move to a new country was a positive choice, the brain interprets many of these situations as adaptation factors and potential threats.
The result is that many expat mothers live in a permanent state of hypervigilance without realizing it.
That's why they keep working.
They continue to account for it.
But internally, they are exhausted.
When the body starts asking for help
The human body has an extraordinary capacity for adaptation.
For a long time, he can compensate.
Until you can't anymore.
That's why symptoms appear at this time.
Some of the most common signs I observe include:
Constant tiredness
Anxiety
Irritability
Insomnia
Digestive problems
Hormonal changes
Weight gain or difficulty losing weight
Hair loss
Brain fog
Low immunity
Chronic inflammation
Autoimmune diseases
Often, these symptoms are treated in isolation.
More rarely someone asks:
“What has kept this woman in survival mode for so many years?”
The Vision of Lifestyle Medicine
Lifestyle Medicine shows us that health doesn't just depend on the absence of disease.
Because it depends on the quality of our daily habits.
I am suitable.
Nutritious food.
Body movement.
Stress management.
Healthy social connections.
Life purpose.
When a woman remains in a constant state of alert, all of these pillars end up being affected.
She sleeps worse.
Eat more impulsively.
They have less energy to move.
Make room for meaningful relationships.
And finds fewer and fewer moments to recover.
The Gaze of Traditional Chinese Medicine
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, health is the organism's ability to maintain the harmonious flow of vital energy.
When we live under prolonged stress, there is an excessive consumption of our internal resources.
Over time, we can observe signs of stagnation, energy deficiency, and imbalances that affect different body systems.
The woman begins to feel that she is always tired, but unable to truly rest.
As if constantly accelerated and exhausted at the same time.
This is a pattern I often see with expat mothers.
Recovering health begins when we get off autopilot
The good news is that survival mode doesn't have to be a permanent state.
But the first step is to develop awareness.
Realize that exhaustion is not a personality trait.
It's not weakness.
It's not a lack of ability.
Often, it's simply the result of an organism that has spent years trying to protect you.
Therefore, from this awareness, it becomes possible to build a new way of living.
A life with more presence.
Better connection with the body.
More respect for your own limits.
And more space for rest, nutrition, and recovery.
You were not made to survive.
You were made to live.
And your health depends on that difference.
If you're an expat mom and feel stuck in a cycle of exhaustion, know that there's a different way. A way that integrates nutrition, lifestyle, self-care, and ancestral wisdom to help your body get out of a constant state of alert and back into balance.